I was made to be wide-eyed all the days of my life.

Thursday, February 25, 2010

On Traffic Signs and Devotion

I want to keep moving, keep digging deeper into the heart of God.
I want to love God on his terms, not mine.
I want to pursue Him all the days of my life, a world without end.
I want whats real.
The knowledge of God.

I want more.

Saturday, February 20, 2010

Thursday, February 18, 2010


My name is Laura Clawson. "

I travel alot. Well, not a super lot. But more than your average 20 year old in school.

I recently got back from a fantastic trip in around my country, the USA, which I love.

I took a plane, a train, a bus, a car, and I thumbed a ride a few times. By the time I was home again 41 days had passed  and by the end of my trip, my suitcase and I had a mutual agreement that we wouldn't have to look at each other for a while. ( You know, one of those " I love you, but...) It was an incredible experience and one that I will remember possibly for the rest of my life.

I wrote a lot over those 41 days, filled up a whole journal, actually.
Funny thing though. I didn't take a lot of pictures. I'm a photographer, by trade. Thats what I do.
I enjoy it, its one of my hobbies, 

But, I also like other things. 

So, on this trip. I took pictures when I wanted to, not because I felt like I had to.  And, like I said before, I wrote. A lot.

I wrote about time passing, about the poetry I was memorizing and the appropriate time and place that I'll recite it. I'm currently working on some stuff by Czeslaw Milosz. He has a beautiful poem called "I" that you should probably read. Google it.

I wrote about creativity and originality. Its something that I've been struggling with lately. Are there any "new" ideas? What do you think? Whats the difference between being different and being independent?

And this one is really weird. I wrote about dogs. I'm not a huge dog fan. Which is why this is weird. 
In his book Mere Christianity, C.S. Lewis talks about animals and how the more we treat them life humans, the more human like they become. 

Perhaps this is what happens to me when I chose to follow Jesus. He treats me as redeemed. He sees me as loved, whole and complete. Thus I live more and more redeemed, more loved, more whole each day,  knowing that this is how He looks at me. So, I think its weird, but the more I see animals, good ones and poorly trained ones, the more I have a revelation about myself. I want to be fully alive. I want to be who I was supposed to be, who God created me to be. And dogs kinda reminded of that now. Its sorta weird. 

Speaking of becoming fully human and changing into someone greater, I also spent a lot of time with a lot of new people and old friends that I really want to be like. Poets and Prophets, Philosophers and Photographers, Paramedics and Professionsal Musicians .  Baristas and Baritones, Writers and Fighters,  Chefs and College Students. And  I miss them.  Very much.

I wrote a lot about the changes that were happening inside my heart, in my head. 

I wrote about the kinda person that I want to be- steady, passionate, forgiving. And I wrote about the kinda of people that I want to work with, to help. 
I climbed a tree and almost fell out. But lived to write about it. 

And More than one page was filled at the World Mandate Conference in Waco, TX, which I attended with my good friends The Lindseys. Back Row Balcony. With plenty of room for dancing. :)

One thing I appreciate about starbucks is its consistency. No matter where in nation you are. A starbucks mocha is a starbucks mocha:

My favorite part is when they call your name. It helps me remember who I am. No, who I really am.
I'm Laura. Thats my name.

And on the train ride home, as I wove through the backyards of my country, I wrote about the land. Summing up my trip :
" This whole season of living out of my suitcase has been such an opening experience for me. I've never felt so much like "travel" before. I've always done destination travel, you know to a certain place or for a certain reason...but never before really to just journey.

I kinda like it. Because I'm seeing the world for what it is.
I kinda hate it. Because I'm seeing the world for what it is.

1. Beautiful, hopeful. Full of meaning and significance. 
2.Wretched, failing, full of very, very lost people.
It puts me in a very interesting place...."

And now I'm home. In Minnesota. In that interesting place. Noticing that the world is entirely beautiful, yet very much broken. And my Gosh. Its COLD.
And as far as whats next? Well. To tell the truth, I don't know. I can't see that far ahead. But, don't worry. 
I'm writing it all out.