I was made to be wide-eyed all the days of my life.

Thursday, January 28, 2010

My life is a journey not always marked by photographs

Day 32 on the Road.  Longview, TX

My life is usually marked by photographs. Its like journaling to me. I record events via photograph.
This trip, though, I've barely taken 100 photographs (besides those for the wedding).

I told myself that I would be better about recording life this time. That I would be more persistent about remembering all that happened, to share my stories with others around me via visuals.
That's what I told myself.

Obviously, I'm not that great of a listener when it comes to myself, because I've not taken a lot of photographs. My cell phone has probably taken more images than my d50, which continues to retire at rapid speed.

One thing though. I journal.

Especially on this trip. I've filled up a almost a whole journal in the past 30 days and I'm at the far, far back of the book by now. Rationing the pages, using them for special occasions, picking my words and sentences carefully, as to not waste a line.  This time is special to me.


Because I am dependant on someone for everything.

My travel, my bed, my food, my everything. All I have is my dirty, old suitcase, and I'm even thinking of ditching that. Its such a big hassel. And its broken.

All that I have, or have gotten on this trip has been a gift from my friends, or complete strangers.

I have a choice. To be dependant on others, to accept the gifts that they give me, or to be a stiff.
And be independant. 

Not needing anyone. Not asking for help. Not putting anyone out.
Its rather selfish if you think about it.

So. I stay with friends, strangers, acquaintances on this journey. I'm learning to accept the gifts that people give, greatfully, with thanks. The more I am able to lean on them, the more I am able to see what leaning on God looks like. The more I am forced to be dependent on others the more I realize that I have nothing in myself and I have no choice but to throw myself into Jesus. Into what he is doing, and what he is all about.

And so, my journey continues.
I take what I have, and I bring it with me. Not because I can't part with it. Not because I can't live without it.
But because it develops in me, a willingness to give what I have. Especially if its all I have.

So, the cow bag makes an appearance. My bag. My Trusty  Bag. Carries my books. Still.

Its held my knowledge, my books, notes and journals since the beginning.

My books and shoes and clothes are getting worn out.
Really, really. Really.

And I'm studying. Reading, and sharpening my mind, expanding my vocabulary and increasing my heart in the knowledge of God. I love this life.

Oh. Yes. And I'm writing. A whole, whole, whole lot. 

Because I love words. I love The Word.

Jesus said he was the Word. The same from the beginning, the same in the end.
I have purposed to follow this Word, where ever he goes.
His people will be my people.

Where ever he goes, I will go.

I love to journey with Him. I love to see what He has next. I love to meet His people and hear His words.

"The LORD is my chosen portion and my cup;
   you hold my lot.

  The lines have fallen for me in pleasant places;
   indeed, I have a beautiful inheritance.
 I bless the LORD who gives me counsel;
   in the night also my heart instructs me.

I have set the LORD always before me;
   because he is at my right hand,
I shall not be shaken.

 Therefore my heart is glad, and my whole being rejoices;
   my flesh also dwells secure.

For you will not abandon my soul to Sheol,
   or let your holy one see  corruption.

 You make known to me the path of life;

   in your presence there is fullness of joy;
   at your right hand are pleasures forevermore.

He has made me glad.


Sunday, January 24, 2010

Update to date

I sit on a couch.
A black leather couch.

In the corner of a coffee shop, where else?

My friends sit next to me, thier faces also glow from the lights of thier computer screens. My empty hot chocolate cup sits on the floor next to me. Satisfaction in a cup.

I've been on the road for 30 days now and I'm beginning to loose at the seams, I think.
Not huge rips or tears, just a little loosening. My suitcase is taking on a new color (and smell), and I'm pretty sure I've used up all my clothing combination possible. I'm starting to feel a little tired and a little worn, which is funny because its not like I never travel. I travel quite often, but today, while sitting my old secret spot, I realized something. I do a lot of destination travel. You know, I GO a lot of places.
But I don't travel alot.
You know, I don't just go.

I guess, in a simpler way:
I go to alot of places, but not through.

I think that I'm getting more tired these days because I change addresses every week.

I'm learning about security and hope and where I put my trust.
I'm learning what Home means. I'm learning that I can be confident in who I am only because I have Jesus, my Home, who gives me grace to get through each day.

I'm learning a lot about the gift of God, grace, and how it empowers me, how I need it to do anything at all.
Anything at all.

I cannot even love God the way I'm supposed to without the Grace to do so.
I used to think grace was all about weakness.I'm learning its all about power.

The power that God gives me to even breathe, to even exist, to even have a thought. I do it all through the Grace that he gives.

I thank God for His indescribable gift.

(below are pictures from my cell phone. Yeah, yeah. I know.)

Wednesday, January 20, 2010

Develop In Me A Longing That Is Unrestrained

"I ask you, Lord Jesus,
To develop in me, your lover,
an immeasurable urge toward you,
an affection that is unbounded,
a longing that is unrestrained,
a fervour that throws discretion to the winds!

The more worthwhile our love for you,
all the more pressing does it become
Reason cannot hold it in check,
fear does not make it tremble,
wise judgment does not temper it. "

Richard Rolle



Here is a post. An un-update for you.

I've been on the road for 15 days now. Well, not technically on the road, I've been living in a cabin, in Manitou Spings, Colorado for the past 10 days and before that...a shady hotel room in Kansas City. A conference, an awakening, a flight, a wedding, a bus ride, a day sleeping and a snowstorm later, here I am.

Sitting in the corner chair at the local starbucks, I watched the sun rise on Pikes Peak this morning. The mountain melting majesty. The sun just peaking over,  flushing the entire landscape with warm glory.

I like Colorado. I like it alot.

I feel like every kind of people live here, under this mountain. We are all reminded how small we are, how much we need something bigger than ourselves to live on. Here, under this mountain, this is what I'm thinking about.

Success and Failure and Mountains.

I feel as though I've undergone very open heart surgery. Or maybe even a transplant, of sorts. Like I've been put on the pump and everything.

I went to the OneThing conference exhausted. The Holidays and photography had plain worn me out. I'd been working, working, working for my own personal success.


That was a while ago.
and I never posted it.

But, low and behold, I'm not in Colorado now.

Thats where I am at.
And guess what?

I still don't really feel like posting. sooooo...
guess what?

I'm not going to.

I miss this girl:

Wednesday, January 13, 2010

Monday, January 11, 2010

Chris and LeAna- Preview

On January 2, 2010 I had the pleasure of shooting the celebration wedding of Chris and LeAna.

A beautiful couple with a beautiful heart.
The pictures?
Well, they are beautiful.


Much thanks to Christina Dickson, at BrideInspired who helped me shoot this wonderful event