I was made to be wide-eyed all the days of my life.

Thursday, January 28, 2010

My life is a journey not always marked by photographs

Day 32 on the Road.  Longview, TX

My life is usually marked by photographs. Its like journaling to me. I record events via photograph.
This trip, though, I've barely taken 100 photographs (besides those for the wedding).

I told myself that I would be better about recording life this time. That I would be more persistent about remembering all that happened, to share my stories with others around me via visuals.
That's what I told myself.

Obviously, I'm not that great of a listener when it comes to myself, because I've not taken a lot of photographs. My cell phone has probably taken more images than my d50, which continues to retire at rapid speed.

One thing though. I journal.

Especially on this trip. I've filled up a almost a whole journal in the past 30 days and I'm at the far, far back of the book by now. Rationing the pages, using them for special occasions, picking my words and sentences carefully, as to not waste a line.  This time is special to me.


Because I am dependant on someone for everything.

My travel, my bed, my food, my everything. All I have is my dirty, old suitcase, and I'm even thinking of ditching that. Its such a big hassel. And its broken.

All that I have, or have gotten on this trip has been a gift from my friends, or complete strangers.

I have a choice. To be dependant on others, to accept the gifts that they give me, or to be a stiff.
And be independant. 

Not needing anyone. Not asking for help. Not putting anyone out.
Its rather selfish if you think about it.

So. I stay with friends, strangers, acquaintances on this journey. I'm learning to accept the gifts that people give, greatfully, with thanks. The more I am able to lean on them, the more I am able to see what leaning on God looks like. The more I am forced to be dependent on others the more I realize that I have nothing in myself and I have no choice but to throw myself into Jesus. Into what he is doing, and what he is all about.

And so, my journey continues.
I take what I have, and I bring it with me. Not because I can't part with it. Not because I can't live without it.
But because it develops in me, a willingness to give what I have. Especially if its all I have.

So, the cow bag makes an appearance. My bag. My Trusty  Bag. Carries my books. Still.

Its held my knowledge, my books, notes and journals since the beginning.

My books and shoes and clothes are getting worn out.
Really, really. Really.

And I'm studying. Reading, and sharpening my mind, expanding my vocabulary and increasing my heart in the knowledge of God. I love this life.

Oh. Yes. And I'm writing. A whole, whole, whole lot. 

Because I love words. I love The Word.

Jesus said he was the Word. The same from the beginning, the same in the end.
I have purposed to follow this Word, where ever he goes.
His people will be my people.

Where ever he goes, I will go.

I love to journey with Him. I love to see what He has next. I love to meet His people and hear His words.

"The LORD is my chosen portion and my cup;
   you hold my lot.

  The lines have fallen for me in pleasant places;
   indeed, I have a beautiful inheritance.
 I bless the LORD who gives me counsel;
   in the night also my heart instructs me.

I have set the LORD always before me;
   because he is at my right hand,
I shall not be shaken.

 Therefore my heart is glad, and my whole being rejoices;
   my flesh also dwells secure.

For you will not abandon my soul to Sheol,
   or let your holy one see  corruption.

 You make known to me the path of life;

   in your presence there is fullness of joy;
   at your right hand are pleasures forevermore.

He has made me glad.


1 comment:

  1. Thanks for pouring out your heart, Laura... mine echos a similar song.

    -Caitlin Ewing