I was made to be wide-eyed all the days of my life.

Wednesday, December 31, 2008

Ponderings of a past/present/future

The object of a New Year is not that we should have a new year.

It is that we should have a new soul and a new nose; new feet, a new backbone, new ears, and new eyes.

Unless a particular man made New Year resolutions, he would make no resolutions.

Unless a man starts afresh about things, he will certainly do nothing effective.

Unless a man starts on the strange assumption that he has never existed before, it is quite certain that he will never exist afterwards.

Unless a man be born again, he shall by no means enter into the Kingdom of Heaven. – G. K. Chesterton

My year was upside down

The end was in the Beginning

and the Beginning was really in the end

Ive been thinking about love this year. What it means. How it means, and though what means it changes us.

Ive been thinking about Sharpies and Pencils and how both write well, but one is more flexible than the other. One is erasable One is ok with mistakes. One is perfectly fine with forgetting the past and rewriting the future.
Ive been thinking about my life and how I am like a sharpie marker, wanting something very permanent, but the paper on which my life is writing is thin right now, so my ink just sinks right through making a mess and rendering the letter unreadable.

Ive been thinking about Jesus and what he meant when he said his burden is light.
I've been thinking about how I am like that guy in the bible who really stressed out. And how I am carrying a really really really really really heavy load that maybe I wasn't meant to carry.

Ive been thinking about Christmas
and its lights and presents and gifts and hectic annoying songs and its crazy rush and money and how it came really fast and left a big mark and ...
and how Jesus came to save us.
maybe even from Christmas.

I've been thinking about babies and being born. How, babies are fresh and warm and beautiful and hopeful and when you hold them you think it might be ok after all. How they love and trust even when its weird and uncomfortable and awkward.

I've been thinking about the Kingdom of God. And how Jesus says we can't even understand what it is until we become like little babies.
Its upsidedown.
Everything is.

Its kinda funny too.
Because its so easy.
Being a pencil is easier that being a sharpie.
But the process is of getting to be ok with being a pencil is hard.
So, you see. Everything is upside down.

Being a normal human being is easier than being a "world changer" who bears great burdens.
But the process of letting go of the burden and realizing that you are significant just because you exist, thats it, that is hard.

Being a kid is easier than being an adult with many adult issues.
But the process of trusting like a kid, enjoying like a kid is hard.

See... its easy...but its hard...

Kinda like the Kingdom of God.

Kinda like this past year for me.
Its been easy, but its been hard.

But thanks be to God, who gives us victory in Christ Jesus!
Victory over pride and unhappiness
Victory over 'sharpie minded lifestyles' and unbelief
Victory over sin and sorrow
victory over very adult worries and the economy and changing the world and money and bills and despair and guilt and fear and bondage and success and pain and suffering and unemployment and cancer and Darfur and AIDs in the world and war and mean people and those 'are you kidding me??' moments.

Thanks Be To God.

for 2008 and all the junk and all the beauty in it.

Thanks Be To God
Who makes burdens light.

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